It's hard.

I am in the two week wait. For those of you wondering-The two week wait is the time between ovulation and finding out if you are pregnant or not.
We've been at this for three years now with some chemical pregnancies in the midst of it. Our daughter was conceived on the second month but I was much younger then and in much better shape. Now we are eleven years older and I am getting to a point where I am beating myself up less with the fact that we should have started trying much much earlier and just accepting that life got in the way.
So here I sit, in our beautiful, quirky, new/old house waiting. Dh's horoscope said that he would get good news regarding a baby at the end of August. Ironically, I have been eating alot of garlic, quinoa and avocados without even realizing until today when I read an article that all of these foods are excellent for fertility. I feel bloated and crampy, blah, blah, blah.

Despite everything I still always feel hope. Then my period usually comes and I feel anger, rage, and sadness, why me, lather, rinse, repeat.

Also, yesterday I saw I'm guessing around 20? pregnant woman. I also saw a woman who appeared older than me with an older child and a baby who resembled my husband. Maybe I'm starting to go crazy.

Maybe it's finally my time? Maybe I will be here in a couple of days posting with my box of wine, olives and feta cheese?

Time will tell.

The Lions, tacos and moving day.

Tomorrow is the day to move our furniture into the new house. We have been over there almost every day moving little things, boxes and swimming.

The weather has been pretty brutal for our area lately so I feel super lucky to have a pool.

We have four men plus my husband to help move so hopefully it shouldn't take too long. After that they have to go out to Guadalupe to pick up my early 40th birthday present.  That's right. I found an upright piano for $50 on Craigslist and all the keys work. It's beautiful! And the guys are awesome for picking it up for me.

I am trying not to stress out as I am not good with change even if it is good change. I came home earlier and listened to The Lions online and had tacos for dinner which boosted my spirits even though they lost. I would love some wine right now but we are in the two week wait. I still have alot to do tonight but I just want to sit on the couch listen to music and play WoW. I'm exhausted.

I'll leave you now with a little Iron and Wine. This particular CD just works tonight. I'm feeling a bit meloncholy.

My girl is 10 today!

I can't believe it. Where does the time go? The activities of choice today are lunch at Denny's, a shopping trip to Michael's Arts and Crafts and swimming.

I'll admit, I don't miss the chaos of having a party this year. Last year was a bit insane.

                          Happy Birthday to my sweet girl!

Apparently no see um and flea bites look the same

and that makes me feel a touch better. I was at the new house swimming and was wondering why the girlie and I were getting bit. I realized that these bites were not itching though. Came home and googled flea and no see um bites and viola! It's still gross but makes me feel better on some weird level.
I love our new house so much. I did not want to leave but the big stuff is not being moved over until next weekend. I am armed now with Off and Eucerene Calming Creme. Oh, and wine. I bought some Fish Eye Chardonnay at Albertsons this afternoon. I've also got feta cheese, white cheese crackers and olives. Therapy.