Saturday, August 18, 2012

It's hard.

I am in the two week wait. For those of you wondering-The two week wait is the time between ovulation and finding out if you are pregnant or not.
We've been at this for three years now with some chemical pregnancies in the midst of it. Our daughter was conceived on the second month but I was much younger then and in much better shape. Now we are eleven years older and I am getting to a point where I am beating myself up less with the fact that we should have started trying much much earlier and just accepting that life got in the way.
So here I sit, in our beautiful, quirky, new/old house waiting. Dh's horoscope said that he would get good news regarding a baby at the end of August. Ironically, I have been eating alot of garlic, quinoa and avocados without even realizing until today when I read an article that all of these foods are excellent for fertility. I feel bloated and crampy, blah, blah, blah.

Despite everything I still always feel hope. Then my period usually comes and I feel anger, rage, and sadness, why me, lather, rinse, repeat.

Also, yesterday I saw I'm guessing around 20? pregnant woman. I also saw a woman who appeared older than me with an older child and a baby who resembled my husband. Maybe I'm starting to go crazy.

Maybe it's finally my time? Maybe I will be here in a couple of days posting with my box of wine, olives and feta cheese?

Time will tell.

1 comment:

  1. Im sorry to hear that you have had so many months of, for lack of a better word, disappointment. I hope this is the month an there will be no rinse and repeat!